Nothing Is For Sure

2010-03-09T23:53:00.002+08:00

i've removed all the necessary things like the links and tagboard..
i find it redundant when a blog is suppose to be an entry of your daily life, isn't it?

well...3 years of NYP is over!
it's time to go our separate lives..
i've done a lot of thinking on what i really wanted to do..
nothing is easy when you're an adult..
you have to make sure that you carry out your responsibility..
weighing the pros and cons..
but the conclusion keep changing after several times of hard thinking..

2009-10-13T21:07:00.003+08:00

wow..long time isn't it since i blog?!...
the longest hiatus i had for this blog..
well, there isn't much for me to share about my life..
practically, there were lots of 'happenings' but i don't wish to share it here...

2 months plus of semester break were being made up for the lack of sleeps i had and the sickness i went through for the past 6 months of attachment and FYPJ..
not forgetting spending a quality time for my family...
cooking for them and helping out with the house chores...

my dad has announce that i will start my driving lesson first..
he'll pay for the lessons..
thanks! but my PDL gonna expire soon and have to renew it soon enough..

as you age, there are certain major problem that bugs you..
you don't know whether it's a right or wrong decision that you'll be making...
however,for once, i wish that i will be able to support my parents and give them a shelter without any complains...
i don't care about whether you want to look down upon me or not..
but i know, that you would never change the way you think seeing how far i will go..
for that, i will understand and forgive you..
but deep inside, i wish you could value everyone of us and not be judgmental in an instant...
I'll work hard and pray that the journey will go on smoothly..
there will be few hiccups on the way through but i will overcome it..

2009-08-24T01:43:00.002+08:00

to be accurate, I'm left with 2 months of semester holidays...

I've applied for relief-teaching and waiting for the school to call me up after i've called them up last Friday...

i want to have a real taste of teaching and i can consider it as one of my choices...

caught the movie "Up" last Friday with my twin sister..

it was hilarious and there were lots of kids watching it but i don't feel left out at all cos' i enjoyed it to the fullest..

thought about catching 2 new movies , "Year One" and "The Proposal"..

both are comedy and i need some laughter to drain off the stress i had for the past 6 months..

apart from that, i have to clean up my house and do some spring cleaning before moving out..

there are tonnes of things that are needed to be done such as sorting out my old books and lecture notes..

and not forgetting my clothes too..

i need several boxes to store my books and lecture notes..

headache!

ouh and not forgetting, i'm addicted to SIM 3..

a game that won the best game...

that's how i spend my 1st week of my semester break...

2009-08-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

It has been almost a week since FYPJ ended…
A period which I look forward to, HOLIDAYS!! YEAH!
It’s been 6 months of intensive endurance and a learning experience which I can’t express into words…
Throughout the 6 months, I was sick for 2 times…
Once during IPP, this took me 2 weeks to recover and another, during FYPJ which took me a week…
All those sickness doesn’t affect my attendance…
Rain or shine, sick or not I will still attend school or work unless I can’t get off from my bed.. .
Frankly, FYPJ is the worse period of my life…
I told myself that I’m just way too unlucky…
I don’t wish any of my friends to go through what I did…
It is way too much for me which result into sleepless night and stress…
Do you know what’s the feeling of being step on the head and taken advantage of your kindness….
It won’t come to a good end for that person, he’ll have his own payback for giving me ‘this’ treatment…
I’m not taking any revenge or what but I believe you’ll receive what you give…
This applies to your hard work and also the treatment you give towards people around you…
Sometimes it’s hard trying to understand a situation because you won’t understand it unless you go through the same situation …
However, I take this as a learning experience where I learned how communication, cooperating with one another and teamwork play a big role in this situation. It has widen my perspectives
I felt like I have a big responsibility over everything and it was a big burden to me. I’m sick of repeating my words again and again when those words fell on deaf ears. That’s where my patience had reached its peak…
But it’s over and I’m done with it…
Time to start a new chapter…

2009-07-18T16:00:00.002+08:00

there's always a time when i really wanted to blog..
but time doesn't permit me to do so..
i guess this is not the first time i felt like that..

how's school?
i have practically 3 more weeks before FYPJ ends..
i can't wait for the day to come..
i've tolerate enough nonsense from people..
this is the end of my limits..
can't take in anymore of it..
i even thought of quitting school in the midst of those hard times..
mentally and physically exhausted..
but after thinking about it again, i'm halfway through the finish line..
there's no time to waste..
telling and comforting myself that i can do it and finish up what i've started..
although i've to struggle my way through and no help is given, i will struggle through till the end..

sometimes, i just don't understand..
teachers?
tutors,supervisors and lecturers are so called being a teacher to the students..
so what's the purpose of being in that profession?
to guide students towards the right path without even discriminating the strong and the weak ones..
you can't expect the student to remember everything..
afterall, we're human beings that forget and remember things..
we are no robots that have a powerful memory..
i guess nowadays, they have loss that quality in them...
i don't see the dedication and passion given ..
but sad to say, they are just making me demoralized..

2009-06-28T15:32:00.008+08:00

sad to say..
i'm starting to hate FYPJ..
it's not been easy on me for the past few weeks..
very pressurizing and totally stressful..
it's hard for me..
my mood have been high and low..
the moment i got back home, i don't wish to think about project..
it just make me sick..

how do you know i don't put effort on it?
did you know what i do everyday?
have you ever spare time thinking what i did for this project?

never ever i felt so disappointed like i did last Friday..
i totally lost hope and the words of my supervisor really choked me that i can't voice out my opinion..
what about my say?
please do feel guilty for what you have done and what you have said..

the project is doable..
but i don't feel the effort and the seriousness involved..
frankly, i hate it and do have some self-consciousness..

i swear upon myself..
i make sure you regret what you have done and what you have said..
there's nothing to laugh about this matter...

2009-06-09T20:43:00.002+08:00

FYPJ - Final Year Project..
it's been bugging me for the first few weeks since the beginning and will always be,
for the following 9 weeks..

frankly,it's really hard for me..
although it's boring and dull, i still have to do it..
completing the work is not a choice but it's a MUST..
we are big enough as an adult to know what's good and bad..

just remember, i'm putting all my effort on this project..
i will endure and persevere...
but i will not hesitate to BLOW UP when my limits exceeds..

youbetterwatchoutifidunseeanyimprovementsjerk.
youaresuchapainintheass

2009-05-31T23:11:00.002+08:00

if i keep everything till tmrw..
i will explode..
if i keep thinking more about it..
i will never be able to concentrate on what i am doing..

is this the right thing to do?
deep in my heart, i really envy those people..
i believe in working hard to achieve something you have set for yourself..
but i don't believe in taking the easy way out..

i'm really angry and upset..
there are alot of things lingering in my mind right now..
it's really hard on me..
but i try to brace myself and work hard for it...

sometimes there's no use complaining when you don't even try..
cos' a LOSER will only do that when they don't even give it a shot..

2009-05-24T21:01:00.002+08:00

just got back from my driving practical..
my dad taught me some basic stuff like changing of gears and the pedals..
i was nervous cos' he's a bit impatient when it involves teaching or anything..
but i really need to ask if i have doubts...
overall, it's an advantage since my dad can teach me but i'm really scared of him..
he really curse and scold those driver who just cut his way..

anyway,I've just ended my IPP last Friday..
it's been a long journey but at the same time, i gain a lot..
although i might be complaining about the piling work, i appreciate the effort that the company has put in to teach me something valuable that i can't even pay to attend those lessons..

aside from that, thanks to Brian who have been entertaining me for the whole 12 weeks..
you have been a good friend,bro..
I'm glad that we can get along so well and can talk anything under the sun..
see you in school soon..

2009-05-16T14:50:00.003+08:00

i'm really busy to blog...
my weekends are the days for me to rest..

i was really sick which took me 1 week to recover..
i'm really sorry to my colleagues who caught my virus..
was having on-off fever for 2 consecutive days and my body was too weak..
frankly, i can't take it but i push myself to come to work as usual..
i don't like my work to be half done,get it?
but i guess resting at home just make it worse..
but nevermind, I've recovered except for my cough..

work has been fine..
there's ups and downs for every task..
i guess our boss is really happy that we're taking our work seriously..
he really hope that we can come back and work for him and also, welcome us back during our 2 months break and he'll pay us like a normal employee..cool or what?

aside from that, i'm going to end my IPP soon..
next week will be our last week and we only be working for 3 days..
this is because we're going to clear our 2 days leave which are entitled to us on the last week..
although i guess there isn't a need to do so, my colleague told me to clear it..
well, why not?
i'm going to have sufficient time to finish up on the IPP report and other stuff..

since it's going to be the last week..
i will miss the long bus ride while listening to my iPod..
seeing the same bunch of people who took the same bus as me at the same timing..
knowing where those familiar faces will be alighting..
i guess it has become a routine..

it's time to get ready and GO BACK TO SCHOOL!

2009-05-04T14:24:00.003+08:00

i'm on leave today..
finally, at last..
seriously need a time off from work cos' it's just getting hectic..
2 more weeks left before i'm leaving that work place..

although i'm on leave doesn't mean that i can just sit down and shake my leg..
i have to:

~~iron my clothes~~
~~tidy up my study table~~
~~mop the floor~~
~~vacuum the floor~~
~~get my 2 nieces ready for school and send them to school~~
return my library book
wash my room's toilet (almost there)
finish up on my error report (almost there)
listing out what to buy for this month's need

aside from that, i'm planning what to bring for this week's lunchbox..
it's economical this way..
who cares what people thinks..
i'm just a student..
lunchbox is healthy..

2009-05-03T16:19:00.002+08:00

Last Thursday,i headed straight to Bugis after work..
i'm really sorry towards the girls..
they waited for me for almost an hour..
i'll treat you girls for our next outing..
i'm so happy to see both of them..

we had our dinner at Pastamania and we were practically shouting instead of talking as it was too noisy that i can't even hear my own voice..
we sat at a nearby cafe and talked about our attachment and schools..
can't stop laughing and i felt the strain at my cheeks..
time really was against us..
i reached home 12 midnight on the dot..

2009-04-25T14:31:00.003+08:00

there are lots of things to do today..
but i'm sure i will be able to finish it today..

Task for 25/4/09:

complete my IPP logbook for week 8
tabulate yesterday test cases
make new test cases
search DIY gifts for my colleagues

i even have to do my work on weekends..
since on Monday, my Boss wants our results..
GAH!! this is like 2 days worth of work...
i feel like going for a roller coaster ride and scream my heart out..
ok that's random (-_-)..
i just want to get rid of my frustrations...

2009-04-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

this week..
work is giving me stress and indigestion..
causing me to vomit and lose my appetite..
it's either i force myself to eat or don't eat at all during lunch for fear that i might puke everything out..
i guess it's a norm..
to me, i work better under pressure..
that ensures me to do a good job..
nevertheless, healths is the top priority..

i want to bitch about work here..
but i guess it's better not to..
very dangerous!
i'll wait until next Thursday cos' i'll be meeting my friends and talking about 2 months+ of attachment life and being a Year 3 student..

my stomach is just like a washing machine right now..
my eyes are about to close now..
chaos!

2009-04-19T14:45:00.003+08:00

Picture Credit: Kasmini

Sunday..
the day that i don't fancy..
starting to feel the laziness since tmrw is a brand new day..
feeling the urge to go out but doesn't seems to have the mood, knowing that I'm working tomorrow..
repeating the same old routine again but on a whole new week..

Tomorrow..
it's going to feel different in the office..
without Emile and Winifred who have had left the office since they are done with their attachment..
work are just getting more stress..
the need of accomplishing all the task within a day..
having to rush everything before the next day..

To Winifred,
thanks for the cookies...
it's very well-made and delicious..
won't be able to hear your laughter in the office anymore..
appreciate your kindness for the whole 7 weeks..
it's been a good experience with you...
anyway, just hope to see you around and all the best for your future..

2009-04-18T21:29:00.004+08:00

I'm so BROKE right now..
but still surviving..
I've been spending my money "wisely" such as buying stuff online..
let me just post a few of the pics..

a bag..totally the same as in the pic..

bangles..to be worn in the future for special occasions..

top..

and lastly, a beanie(i didn't post the pic here)..
I'll make sure that my mum will not know about this or else i'll get a scolding from her..
my next pay is just around the corner and I'm thinking what shall i do with it..
I'm going to apply for my PDL(Provisional Driving License) and start on my driving lessons..
I've been putting my driving on delay due to financial and time factor..

also, I'm going to bring my parents out to eat for my next pay ..
they play a big part during my attachment period so i think they need some reward..
my twin sis has been receiving a lot from me than what i thought of giving her..
but who cares, I'm sincere about giving..
not forgetting to leave some for savings too..

my aim for next month:

get a new wallet
apply for PDL
engage a driving instructor
get my hair done
purchase a planner
catching up with my girl friends
give a treat to my parents
borrow the book that I've been eyeing on for so long

2009-04-12T16:22:00.003+08:00

suddenly an inspiration struck me yesterday..
decided to make mini-pizza and sushi...

so both my twin sis and i went to the market in the morning to make purchases for all the ingredients needed..
eggs are getting expensive!!
from what i know, it used to be around $1.15 but it rise up as high as $1.50..
coincidentally, my grandma is coming today and we saw her at the void deck..
she thought we are back from school..
haha..since when there's school on Sunday?
even if there is,i won't go...

as you know, people who are getting older tend to eat less...
my grandma doesn't eat that much..
she would just eat bread with Milo or coffee in the morning and that's all..
it can last her for quite long..
no wonder she is still strong although she's 78..
she even came to my house by herself and took the bus with no one accompanying her..
surprisingly, she likes our pizzas and sushi..
usually she doesn't like the food that young people eat nowadays...
she prefer Chinese and Malay food..

let me just post some of the food that i made today..

mini-pizza

sushi(contains egg,crab sticks,Japanese cucumber and mayo)

not forgetting, it's Brian Kuang Zi Heng's birthday..
Happy 19th Birthday...
wishing you success and good health..
19 is it bro?
but i'm 20 so you should call me jie-jie..
given the looks you have, you look more like my elder brother..

2009-04-09T23:35:00.004+08:00

without even knowing the 6th weeks of IPP has just fly like that..
which means that i have 6 more weeks to go before me and my IPP-mate from NYP will be going our separate route..
the SP interns will be ending their attachment next week which means next week is their last week..
however,i feel so lazy to go work on Monday since most of my colleagues are taking leaves..
cool or what...tsk?
the office will be like some ghost town..
left with 4 people in the office..

as time goes by, i enjoy the company of my colleagues..
they are bunch of fun people..
everyday,i will always hear laughter and giggling..
i guess the bond is there..
even though that person is a stranger to you, without knowing, you become close and talk freely and just be yourself..

looking back,it'll be just a memory to be kept..

apart from that, i learned something valuable stuff like how transactions takes place in banks..
banking matters which is related to my specialization track...

ok ,i need to turn in now..
i'm really tired and mentally exhausted from absorbing too much terminology...

2009-03-22T15:03:00.003+08:00

Given that I’ve already started my attachment…
As time goes, i reflected on my 2 wholesome years in Polytechnic…

Apart from that, the results are already out…
My GPA still maintain in the 3 area…
Now I can say that I really went through tough times given that I’ve to compromise with everyone around me although it’s against my wishes…
All the time, trying hard to make my stand clear…
Staying up all night to complete my project and study for several tests within one day was the toughest thing…
There are lots of things that I had to give up silently…
My health was totally in a bad shape as I was sick so often that I still force myself to go to school…
I feel insecure about leaving my studies behind for just one day without knowing what is going on in school…
Nobody can stop me cos’ I want to prove to myself that everything happened for a reason from the effect of my previous result…
I was pushing myself to the limit whereby I can’t even tell the difference between a reality and a dream…
Although I seem to hate, I am just fighting the battle within myself…

2009-03-14T16:57:00.003+08:00

i guess many of my friends are puzzled...
why am i not online in MSN or been to Facebook lately?
there are many reasons..
I've started my attachment and my workplace doesn't have Internet access due to security reasons...
I'm dealing with banking transaction kinda software...
my working hours is like 8.30am-6.30pm which is 10 hours...
including my journey back and forth from my house to work requires 1 hour..
that explains how tired i am to even open my laptop..
this will go on for another 10 weeks..

life at work is totally different compared to school life..
working life is even more tiring..
but given that i have great companies, i won't complain cos' they've been always bringing in laughter to me everyday without fail..
they've been helpful and friendly which make things easier for all the internship..
and the clock is ticking fast unknowingly..
complaining is not going to work,you just have to deal with it

at the end of my working day, the moment i got home, i feel tired..
there isn't time for me to watch TV cos' all i need is rest..
black circles start to appear now..
I've not been catching up with the latest update except for world news..
been reading the papers everyday to keep me occupied on my way to work...
apart from that, I've picked up reading again..
once i started to read, i can't let go of the book..

To GESHY:
I'll catch up with you soon,my dear friend..
i really want to know how you're coping now..
i bet there's a lot you want to tell me and so do i..

2009-03-08T00:45:00.003+08:00

last Monday was the commencement of my attachment...
thankfully,1 week has gone like a breeze...
hoping the same for the rest of the weeks...
I'm grateful and thankful...

1st Day of IPP
normal procedures where we have to know more on the company's background...
introduce ourselves to the boss and people working there..
we started immediately...
at first, i was still blur what am i suppose to do..
somehow, i gather all the courage and ask..
i don't want to screw up on the task given to me..
good advices were given by the BOSS..
it really made me think..
there are 2 other students from SP under internship too for 7 weeks..
altogether, there are 4 students under internship including me..
2 from NYP and the rest from SP..
they are bunch of friendly people..

2nd,3rd,4th Day of IPP
i am more familiar with my tasks and get to know more about my new colleagues..
time seems to be racing against me..
cos' without knowing, it's already lunch time or time to go home..
apart from that,i prepared something to help myself to stay awake..
the answers are sweets and sour plum..

see the picture above..
that's how the sky looks when i go to work in the morning(1st) and getting back home from work in the late afternoon(2nd)..
snapped it with my handphone's camera..

2009-02-27T17:45:00.002+08:00

was discussing my mum about my attachment..
about the allowance and everything..
although i will be earning peanuts,I'm thankful enough..
shouldn't you appreciate even it's the smallest thing?

i told my mum that i want to use it for my driving lesson(practical) so there's no need for them to fork out money for my lessons..
i don't really want to add on to their burden..
she told me to save it for school purposes in case of emergency..
and my dad will pay for my lessons..
yes, that's how stubborn i can be..
of course,it's not your money since you won't feel the pinch..

a promise i made to myself..
once i start working and find a stable job,i want to make sure that everything is settle in my household..
i don't want my parents to worry about anything..
i won't let my married siblings thinking that my parents are a burden to them..
cos' they have their own family to support..

no doubts, i really went through tough times..
it was hard for me but i endure even if people are stepping on my head...
i know i shouldn't let them but i am sure for once they will learn their lesson..
and one day saying to oneself "Is that how he/she feels when i did that ?"..
mistakes are made for us to learn and not to repeat it..

2009-02-24T23:42:00.003+08:00

brooding over your failure is just a barrier to your success...
you will be left out while the rest are catching up when you can't overcome it..
let it be a lesson to improve yourself..
this apply to anything..

2009-02-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

2 papers down, 1 more to go..
for all the papers that i sat for, i think Software Engineering is the only paper that requires common sense, comprehension and application..
i never felt so nervous and scared..
nervous, thinking whether i studied enough for this paper..
scared, thinking whether i can make it..
i'll pray hard that i can make it for this paper..
i don't want to disappoint myself,my tutors and my parents..
the moment i went out of the exam hall, my head started to feel heavy that i can't even think properly...
maybe it's due to lack of sleep..
slept as late as 2 am and woke up at 9 am,tell me about it?

allow me to consider 'it' as a nice dream..
a wish came true for once...
i keep wishing and wishing afterward but it didn't come true..
i thought to myself maybe it's not the right time yet..
but a mouthful of words made me lose my courage to face you once again..
i hope we won't meet and even if it's a coincidence, i won't be looking at your way..

2009-02-10T23:10:00.002+08:00

sitting for too long just make me feel a strain at my back...
yes,busy making notes that explains it...
3 pages of notes just to summarize for one chapter..
there are still a lot to do..
need to cover up at least 2 chapters each for 2 modules for tmrw..
6 more days to study before i sit for the first paper..

making notes seems fun to see and do..
but digesting it is way too time consuming and difficult for some points..
it's just an excuse but still, i have to do it..
there's no reason why i can't while others can..
that's the life of a student of my type..

2009-02-07T19:22:00.003+08:00

i really hope my nephew can go back home tmrw..
i don't like him to stay in the hospital for so long..
miss him so much...
just want to cuddle him and feed him once he's back from the hospital..
i want him to be healthy like he used to be..

i really need motivation..
it's hard to start something when you don't have the motivation at all..
well,that's for me..
not sure about the rest..

2009-02-04T01:47:00.003+08:00

i'm done with project presentation..
but it really left me with a big question mark in my head..
my first time to encounter with such things..
good or bad?

just hope i can get good grades for it..
it contains my effort and hard work for the past 17 weeks..
surprisingly, i fell sick for quite a number of times while doing this project..
the worse thing was that, it took me 1 week for me to recover each time i am sick..
even though i'm sick, i never neglected my work..
i would still attend my project meetings punctually and stay for hours to do my tasks...
i try to be optimistic but people would just bring me down with their pessimistic attitude..
how can they keep up with their work if they keep telling themselves that he/she won't make it?

apart from that, i did receive lot of help from my team mates..
i'm really thankful and grateful towards them..
it motivates me to do well and put in effort for the project..
seriously, i really appreciate their help and it made me learn something new from them..
THANK YOU..

2009-01-30T21:24:00.002+08:00

Year 3 Track Selection result is already out..
i got into IT in Finance & Investment..
it's my first choice though but I'm feeling a bit of fickleness once in a while..
is that what i really want to do? will i regret?
I've been visualizing myself in the Life Science(which was my 2nd choice) sector cos' of my love for science that has been showing lately..
apart from that, the bad news is that i have to do attachment first instead of academic...
well, to cry or to smile? bad or good?

can't be too complacent over everything right? i know..
just accept what you're already given..
everybody have their own fair share of ups and downs..
totally useless if i complain too much..

project presentation will be on this coming Monday..
well, it's going on smoothly since we're done with it..
BUT there's some major bugs after deploying it to the server recommended by the module leader..
which is making me worried..
i rather run the system demo on the laptop than on the server..
cos' most of my team members' work have major bugs..
pray hard that there won't be any bugs on the program during the presentation itself..
cos' i swear I'm gonna cringe at that point of time..

2009-01-18T12:44:00.003+08:00

where has all the talks gone?
how come there's no actions taken?
what's the use of the talks when immediate actions are not taken..
it's really sad how things happened in just a second..
what's the use of "Sorry" now when everything is over?
will that word bring them back alive now?

-a person who can only offers sympathy

2009-01-10T20:41:00.004+08:00

a picture depicts a thousand words..

relate to what it means to you..

it's a bad week for me..

was very sick this week..

had a fever for consecutive days which made me so weak..

i even force myself to go to school cos' i had some important modules to attend to..

i wonder how i cope all this while when my body can't take it..

proven that my health has been neglected..

frankly, i don't even know whether i have the right to say this..

but as a class representative, i guess keeping too quiet about it just make me useless..

i feel like i can't stand still looking at what's happening now..

tell the truth, i'm getting SICK of it!

way too sad to see that this is how we, adults handle matters..

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT either...

given that we're in the tertiary stage, we've should know better rather than keeping the battle ongoing..

my advice..

be more mature when handling problems given that we're already grown ups..

be smart and don't let your emotional and big ego get in the way,you're just making things worse..

stop having cold wars between classmates cos' you may need their help in one way or another in the future unknowingly...

do you know how it works in the society?

we'll see how you survive in the society if you keep wearing on that attitude..

you decided and make the decision..

i'm not on who ever sides or being bias at all..

there isn't a need to tell how much sacrifices you went through ..

cos' sooner or later it'll be known..

2009-01-04T21:35:00.003+08:00

as you guys can see above, it's a fruit tart..
yes, i made it by myself..
not even a single soul help me..
they are just my lab rats, tasting the tart..
i must say it turned out to be well-done..
my crust is a bit hard cos' my mum told me to add more flour..
gahh..but it's nice..
worth the effort!

2008-12-31T16:59:00.004+08:00

i'm really thinking hard what to write.. since tmrw is going to be 1st January 2009.. we have to wrap up everything in 2008.. sad to say, time really fly that fast that i don't feel it at all.. it's almost the new year and we have to wrap up for 2008..

my year of 2008..
it's been a good one for me.. i've accomplished many things.. passing my BTT and FTT.. as a tutor,my tutee got a good a result for her PSLE, the most happy news that i got.. a new nephew which brings a bundle of joys to my dad and the family.. gaining more confidence in myself and working harder to improve myself..

Resolutions for 2009

get my license(too busy to start practical that early due to the piling mountain of school work)

maintaining my GPA or increase it

take care of my health(lately,my health isn't too good cos' i've been neglecting it too much)

reduce the amount of stress

be more discipline

those are the main things that i believe i can achieve within next year.. i believe effort play a bigger role in achieving those.. i hope the new year will bring you people out there a new chapter in your life and start new phase which will bring in more positive things... let's be more optimistic.. treasure our love ones and take care of our health importantly..

letting go of everything and start anew..

last but not least,HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2008-12-30T00:34:00.003+08:00

frankly, i don't anticipate much..
i'm just happy to see all my cousins..
talking and goofing around..
without knowing,they are your "precious people" and i even told myself that even my friends doesn't make me feel that good either..
they are the best company when you're sad,happy and feeling troubled..
since they know you ever since you're a kid till you become an adult..

school holiday sux..
it's not even holiday..
here i go again whining about school..
going back to school almost the whole 2 weeks to do codings..
well,i got to say that my mood really went down throughout..
i was so exhausted and tired..
i almost faint last friday because i missed my lunch and dinner as there isn't enough time for me to eat since i have to finish retrieving data to my UI(User Interface)..
when i took the train from Jurong back home, my mind went blank and i just can't take it anymore..
the crowd in the train was choking me..
my legs are wobbly and was totally dehydrated..
i stopped at the next stop and rest..
drank a sip of water left in my bottle..
i don't know what will happen if i still continue staying in the train..
now i realize how precious my health is..
i've been busy worrying about school that i neglected my body that is already asking me to have sufficient rest..

i'll blog about my reflections of 2008 on my next entry..

2008-12-21T21:46:00.003+08:00

it's been like ages since i blogged..
partly i'm busy with assignments piling up that some of it i didn't even touch..
project sux for sure..
coding and coding until you get dizzy..
i have to go back to school tmrw to do my coding..
i must at least make one function successful..
i pray hard it will do wonders!

so i was thinking to myself..
when was the last time i took a time out going out with friends and totally forgot about school?..
it was yesterday..
went out with Geshy since he got a free tickets from his junior for the NRA Hip Hop concert @ NP..
reminisce about the past and laughing hard about those funny incidents..
at the same time, i was wondering how are the rest of my friends doing?..
it feels like i was back in my secondary school days..
the concert was great given that i like to see the B-Boy in action and those "acrobats" dancing...

my definition of a friend: talking randomly without being uncomfortable,someone who you think be your support during the bad and good times

2008-12-06T13:15:00.002+08:00

school week has been fine..
having test every week non-stop..
aside from that there's some conflicts..
which made me so angry that i feel like ripping someone's mouth..
since it's already over, i rather forget about it and forgive..
there's nothing much i can change and just hope that this won't happen again...
peace ok!

please,i beg "you" to shut that damn trap of yours if there's any personal comments about my group or other groups..
please be discreet about your comments..
it's not nice to hear something unpleasant about yourself..
by the way, my group members know what we are doing..
look at yourself before complaining too much..
talk behind me but not in front of me or else you'll suffer the consequences..

anyway, i bought Korean Strawberries in NTUC which cost me $4.45
if you look carefully, the strawberries are all red and juicy..
yes, it's sweet just good for the kids and adults..

2008-11-29T17:21:00.003+08:00

the picture explains it all..
my friends and i were having a good time baking..
we did cupcakes and cookies..
no occasion or what so ever it is..
we did it for one reason..
our Personal Development module..
it was 100% successful..
it turn out well..
cheesecake is on the way..

2008-11-20T19:26:00.002+08:00

not feeling well today..
i slept while standing just now in the train..
having a fever and sore throat..
slept throughout DMID lecture..
the lecture was way too long and the tone of the lecturer just made me damn sleepy..
what more, when I'm sick..
my body can't take it and just take a nap..

today, for my Personal Development class, we manage to make a glider using a plastic file and what we have...
which i thought that we can't complete it, given that we only had 2 hours..
when i saw the glider starts to invade the air, a feeling of satisfaction fill my heart..

another good news came to me..
my tutee who took her PSLE results this morning pass with flying colors...
she's in EM3 and she manage to enter Normal Academic...
she tremendously improve in her Maths..
when i received the sms, i can't stop myself from smiling just like an idiot..
now i feel proud of her..
i was too anxious to hear the result..
i know she can make it cos' i believe that the sacrifices that i made was worth it..
all this while, i keep comforting my aunt that her daughter is doing well in her studies..
and also giving advice to my tutee, which is my cousin, about school life...
i think the words that i told her made her motivated and move ahead of others..

2008-11-05T22:25:00.003+08:00

all this while, i always try to make an effort to come back early to play with my nephew..
he looks like a monk right?
too adorable to resist..
he's going to be 2 months on 11 Nov...
he knows how to smile when you talk to him or giving some weird facial expressions..
sticking out your tongue alone can make him laugh..
a lovable baby..

few days back, i bought 2 books for my nephew...
one makes a squeaky sounds while the other one requires you to use your sense of touch..
yes, i read to him and let him touch the book which has furs on it..
unexpectedly, he likes it...
his big eyes were moving around seeing colorful pictures..
i take notice of his development..
i must say, he's quite smart..
must make him a joyful kid rather than a grumpy and pampered one..

i received a cute pencil case from my friends, Audrey,Weina and Yun Mei..
it's a SUPER belated present..
but thanks anyway..
i like it...
it goes well with my cookies file..
thanks girls..

i have lots of things to say..
but i think, i should think over it before i bring up the topic and blog about it..
it may seems a bit hard to comprehend..
the situation is quite vague now in my mind..

2008-10-31T17:10:00.004+08:00

Fantasy or Reality?

have you ever think of someone who you really want to meet ?
a person who you never met in your life..
hoping to just meet face to face and how that person really look like in reality?
BUT the chances is 1% which is rare..

it happened to me..
i was thinking that i really hope i can meet him for at least once..
if it doesn't happen then I'm fine with it..
this week, on Wednesday, i saw him in the train coincidentally while going back home..
i was happy enough and i knew it was him after stealing a few glances to assure it's him..
i tried hard not to be obvious while i was having a conversation with my classmates...
i was thankful that i met him although I'm not sure if he really recognize me..

once in a lifetime..
i guess it was a coincidence..
but if it's the 2nd time, i think it's fate..
hoping to see him again or not ever again..

I've never been this selfish..

PS: Thanks to my dearest friends for the Birthday wishes..i'm thankful that you guys wished me...although some might be late ,i'm happy enough..it's the thoughts that counts

2008-10-23T19:27:00.002+08:00

once again...
i was left disappointed ..
i thought it was going to be the first and last time to feel like that back in those days..
people who belittle my effort to give and take towards this friendship...
i told myself to forget about it and treat it like it never happen...
cos' i thought maybe I'm the source of the problem and give it a 2nd shot..
i tried ways to please all of you and stoop so low just for all of you..
but i never knew I'm being treated the same way like the previous time..

NOW..
don't tell me how snobbish i can be when i see "you people"..
cos' you guys been giving me a bad impression..
i can no longer trust "all of you"...
from now on, "you people" are just strangers to me..
cos' i think it's useless when you mingle with people you who don't value you at all..
maybe it's time to get a reality check for "you people"..

it's too sad for me to do this but i don't feel like continuing this friendship..
it holds no meaning..
thanks for everything and let's just keep a distant..

2008-10-22T20:43:00.002+08:00

i've been wanting to blog all this while..

but ending up that there's always due to something that i can't blog..

partly school..

the moment i got back home, i feel very tired and just finish up on my school work and do some important stuff instead..

i find one of my modules quite intresting..

where we study about all those human psychology..

it really capture my attention...

we learnt about how different person see a picture and give different perspectives..

just like an abstract..

and the factors to include in web design such as continuity,closure,semantic,proximity and don't know what's the last one..

it may sound nonsense to others but not to me..

i've been waiting for his album to come out after a hiatus of early 2 years..

not bad, i love it..

i've always been a fan of him..

there's eng sub for those who don't understand korean language..

sometimes you can't always assume that everyone thinks like you..

although i may look convincing but actually i truly disagree with some of the opinions..

it's a bit absurd but to a certain extend, i don't want to distort our relationship..

and trying not to make it into a big deal..

2008-10-15T20:36:00.001+08:00

the new semester has just started..
first week of school is a bit slack..
as usual, grouping problems and some disagreements...
the tutors make it easy for us in the first week..
but it's going to be torturing as time passes..

timetable is fine..
quite flexible..
i got Personal Development and Applied Science as my Complimentary Electives..
it's going to be interesting..

frankly, i think everybody is selfish..
you just can't deny it..
although i'm afraid things won't work out, i'm determine enough to do everything diligently...
make sure everything work out..
i'm trying to work hard and keep myself updated...
apart from that, upgrade myself..
i know it'll happen in the future, sooner or later but i trust myself that i can handle this kind of situation...
we'll see how far you guys can go..
there are times you can't choose but to deal with it bravely..

2008-10-10T11:08:00.002+08:00

feeling so helpless and suffocated...
when i tried standing up for myself, i ended up crumbling down..
a lump can be felt through my throat and i got hurt..
i don't understand..
i'm no longer a kid..
yes, i can think and i don't rely on someone to make a decision for myself..
talking back doesn't mean you are being rude..
i'm trying to let you know about my opinion..
don't try to make me sound like i'm the most rude and cruel person in this world..
cos' this is what i saw from my eyes..

for once, just once...
listen to my explanations..
i'm a human too..
don't always prioritise yourself first..
i'm disappointed in all of you..
it's sickening..

2008-10-08T00:07:00.002+08:00

i wish i could pluck up some courage and tell how i really felt all this while..
when i try to tell them, they think it's way too impudent..
it's too tiresome,i can't accept it..
i sacrifice all my time to put in effort to teach and earn money to be solely independent..
not to depend too much on everyone around me including my mum..
i admit, from young i depend too much on mum..
but ever since i step into secondary school, nobody care to ask me how's school..
when the time comes, I'll just show how my grades are and asked either of my parents to sign it..
it's disheartening,truthfully and frankly..
but it shouldn't be a reason for me to go wild and stray around..
cos' it's absurd..

i guess you really need to see for yourself..
then you realize how it used to be..
cos' the reality hasn't hit you yet..
i did it because of my mum and not you..
i can choose not to care but for the sake of their future, i try to take interest in what they do..
i don't want them to become lonely like me where problems are buried deep inside and that's the end of it..

2008-10-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

my mood stinks right now..
i flare up almost about everything..
~~yes, it's the "women issue"~~...

anyway, those pic above was how i spend my last Friday..
went to my eldest sis's house to make cupcakes..
tiring and almost fell asleep..
really lacking of sleep cos' my newborn nephew has been crying now and then every night..

and I've not been going out to jalan raya with my friends..
partly tired and busy with everyday routines..
furthermore, nobody inform me about anything..
so i won't care more unless somebody call me..

need to take up my driving practical soon enough..
waiting for a long time for a bus is just infuriating..
might as well drive...
i don't want to drive a BIG family car to school..
must tell my dad this..

2008-10-04T21:09:00.002+08:00

A Tag Reply to iLi..
here's your reply..

1. The person who tag you is: iLi..

2. Your relationship with him/her is: Friend/Junior

3. Your five impression of him/her: bubbly,friendly,spontaneous,talkative(??),a bit stubborn(i guess)

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you: erm..we are not that close..so yerh..just chat here and there..

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you: memorable? erm.."thank you?!" ,for helping her out in her Polytechnic enrolment

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will: wat? lover? are you out of your mind?!..

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: IF only!..then she should just stay the way she is..unique in her own way

8.If he/she become your enemy, you will: haha..why should i become her enemy? did i do anything wrong to offen her??

9.If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be: if she do something to me causing myself to hate her

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is: help her out in any modules that she can't cope or coach her in Computing Mathematics??(i bet she hate that module)

11. Your overall impression of him/her is: Good enough to approach her and interact with her..friendly!

12. How you think people around you will feel about you: Snobbish,serious,studious,fierce...

13. The characters you love of yourself are: my determination to work hard and achieve my goal regardless of any discrimination

14. On the contrary, the characteristics you hate most about yourself are: my paranoia and stubbornness

15. The most ideal person you want to be is: why should i be another someone?..i love myself as it is..

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them: i really appreciate it and i treasure all of you...but i don't show it..

17. List 10 people randomly.(i changed the question..HAHA!)
1) Noorasmidah
2) iLi
3) Kasminah
4) Alya
5) Siti Khadijah
6) Syazrul Afiq
7) Audrey
8) Nicholas Wong
9) Wan
10)Weina

18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
I know who she is...but don't want to tell

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
Male, it's my damn annoying elder brother

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
together as friends? of course! they are already friends..duh! -_-

22. What is no. 2 studying about?
Information Technology

23. When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
A minute ago..we always talk..

24. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
Erm..those classical type? cos' when he drove us(me and my friends) to somewhere, he'll always tune the radio to classical music..YAWN!

25. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
1 elder brother and 1 younger brother

26. Will you woo no. 3?
Stupid question lah sia! How can i woo my own twin sister? bodoh kan!

27. How about no. 7?
haha..nah! she's my good friend...ouh, she has a lot of secret admirer..really popular among the SIT Club members

28. Is no. 4 single?
single and available..my 4 years old niece!

29. What is the surname of no. 5?
Surname don't know..not chinese liao..i know her father's name though!

30.What's the hobby of no.10?
SHOPPING and hanging out with her bestfriend,GINA(i don't know how to spell it)? tell me about it..

2008-10-04T15:11:00.003+08:00

i've not been updating much on this blog..
well..life is fine..
it's been busy since the arrival of my newborn nephew..
i can't even rest...
been teaching,scolding,cleaning and sending my niece to school..
totally not in a festive mood though..

school is going to open soon..
i'm still half- hearted to go to school..
why? facing all those tutors..
i'm starting to feel sick looking at the same face(PS:those who gave me C+ for certain modules)..
and what more, the same food.
below are my Family Pic for this year Hari Raya..
edit it using photoshop..nice?

2008-09-26T12:43:00.002+08:00

i wonder why should i feel guilty about it?
why should i be responsible for almost everything?..
i don't own them!..
i feel like my heart is going to burst soon cos' i'm too angry and disappointed!..
who am i?!
it's too much for me to handle..
i don't have the freedom to think about myself..
everytime you get in my way, i don't even have the time for myself..
sometimes i think it's too absurd making you as an excuse..
but i have to due to the circumstances..
i don't wish to lie..
but please be a little bit more understanding..
i,myself is still in the process of learning..
i wonder how long this will go on cos' i should stop giving in...

i still remember about the past..
cos' i always will, i'm very grateful for everything..
but isn't this too much?!
i'm just living with those shadows..

2008-09-24T22:46:00.002+08:00

i know it's been hard on you..
just remember there's always a place for you to whine and let yourself out...
clearing all those thoughts at once..
i believe it'll make you feel good about it..
providing a shelter before you get all drench and overwhelm by everything..
no sympathy from me but a shoulder for you to cry on..
i believe 'you' and 'you' will get through this hard time if you are determine enough..
cos' i know both of you too well..
there's no time for regrets and feeling sympathy for yourself..
hold on and you'll be motivated enough to carry on...

FIGHTING!!

2008-09-21T12:20:00.002+08:00

truthfully, i don't feel like blogging at all..
given that I'm really tired and deprive of sleep..
i really want my bed back..
I've been sleeping in the living room with my sister..
furthermore, it's quite warm and my whole body is always soak with sweat..
you may think, what's the use of the fan and an air-con?
my fan is almost dying and asking for it's life to be saved..
wherelse, electricity usage can cost you a big hole in the pocket..
my family is not rich, so you have to understand the situation..
we suffer for what we did to the Earth..
i'll just hope the weather will change to be more colder..

well,it's already 21 days of fasting for the Muslim..
we have 9 more days to go before Raya..
i don't think many will be in a festive mood due to exams just around the corner on the 3rd day of Raya..
poor thing for them..
as for myself, i'm getting myself gear up for the next semester and do well..

2008-09-13T14:05:00.003+08:00

erm..it's been a long time since i've updated...
there's one new member in the family..

his name is Muhd Danialle..

who cares about the name...

he's my little POTATO!

love MY POTATO...

2008-09-05T12:24:00.002+08:00

sick...sick...sick...
my body can't adapt to the weather..
a while ago it was raining ,now it's shine and bright..
i'm down with a flu and fever..
my sore throat is all gone now...

2008-09-03T14:20:00.004+08:00

i can see how foolish and immature you are...
it's already proven..
be a true man and not a timid one...
well, do what you think that it's deem fit for you..
all i can say, reflect on what you've done..
you seems to get everything to slide easily without putting your intelligence into your thoughts..
it's all up to you now..
sometimes in life, we learn some lessons late..

today i was late for my test and almost get knock by a taxi outside BBDC when it was doing a U-turn..
partly is the driver fault for not giving any signal and mine too..
one mishap after another..
Bus 985 was damn late!
i ran to the venue where the test was held although i'm fasting...
what do i care? i was late and i need to sit for the test..
i was thinking to myself whether should i give it a miss if i'm really that late..
decided that it wasn't a good idea, since i'm almost there..
like finally, i passed my FTT...
getting my PDL soon but not that fast since i haven't engage an instructor yet...

2008-08-30T20:23:00.002+08:00

i bet most Muslim people are busy preparing for fasting month which will commence on Monday..
at the same time, busy making cakes and 'kuihs' for Hari Raya..
i'll be helping my mum out though to bake some cookies..
to be more precise i think i'll be the one busy with the house chores..
since my mum will be helping my eldest sister out with her newborn son..
trust me,time really fly that fast..

anyway, i found these(below) in the internet..
those are Colorful Handmade Japanese Keyboards...
It’s available in USB/PS2 connector...
coool huh?
but why do i find it to be an eyesore? LOL

2008-08-25T20:46:00.003+08:00

School

While i was busy preparing for my Semestral exams, the world kept spinning...

everyone is moving on(watching the Olympics probably) while i was stuck with my papers and notes in front of me for almost 2 weeks..

it was madness memorizing and doing the same thing all over again..

just hope to get decent grades after spending my days studying...

when it comes to exams, that's where my nerdy side shows..

Life

Exam has officially ended...

it's time for me to plan for my semester break..

although i keep thinking about my grades and still not over it yet..

there's lots of things to do..

giving tuition, revamp my room, experimenting some recipes,do a website...

ouh yerh, my 2nd eldest sis will be giving birth soon in September this year..

it'll be more chaos in the house..

fasting month is just around the corner..
i can't wait for it..
trust me, it'll be fast just when you realize the fasting months has ended..

I'm trying to do some recollection of what I've done for the past few weeks..

but there isn't any major story..

that's all for now..

2008-08-14T22:51:00.008+08:00

Sorry readers for not updating..
i've been busy with my hectic schedule lately...
coping with studies, busy preparing my tutees for their major exams,helping my aunt out with her catering service on weekends and working on a website for my brother's company..
tell me how could i find a time to blog??
i'll be updating this blog after i've officially finish my exams on 25th August..
meanwhile,take care of yourself READERS!
lastly, thanks for taking the time to drop by and read up on my blog..

Status: Hiatus!

TO MOLEY:
i guess you've heard everything from my sis rite..
i'll update this rotten blog soon ok! bye! take care!

2008-08-05T09:13:00.003+08:00

semester project has officially ended..
it was madness..
i think i screw up my presentation..
i rather not talk about it since it's already over..
just hope that i will put in more effort on the presentation for the upcoming project..
had lunch with Audrey Khoo yesterday @ Pizza Hut Junction 8..
too bad Weina can't join us..
but didn't expect we spend like more than an hour chatting and eating simultaneously before i left for Jurong East..

i feel like slacking all the way..
but somehow, i don't think i can..
i've planned out my revision plan thouroughly and need to follow it just as planned..
my FTT is tonight..
just pray hard i'll pass and will be able to start practical soon during my hols..
tmrw will officially start my exams revision..

2008-08-01T09:58:00.003+08:00

my project has come to an end..
the whole week have been tiring..
i stayed in school till late night trying to complete those unfinished work...
without even knowing it's already night outside..
totally busy to notice what's going around me..
frankly speaking, I've never been this tired when doing a project..
i never expected to be this pressured to complete my work till i shed tears uncontrollably..
i can feel the pressure and tension building inside me..
i've been sleeping quite late too and the earliest was 1 in the morning causing my eyes to have bloodshot several times...
of course, my eyes are swollen and those eyebags are really obvious now..
but i'm thankful we're done with it with the help of my team members and friends..
not forgetting my mum who've been considerate enough to make breakfast for me while i'm rushing to school..
i'm rally touched..
although i don't think my work will be getting a good grade, it's still acceptable..

have to start planning for my revision timetable..
at the same time working on a website..
how tiring this can be, i have to endure and enjoy my fruit of labour at the later part of the process..

2008-07-27T21:15:00.002+08:00

many things have been going on lately..
i think when something happens, many things will pop up in my mind the worse ever scenarios that could happen..
it's just scary thinking the worse possibilities thinking it might happen instantly..
please end this semester project quickly so that i can take a break, study peacefully for semestral exam, teach my cousins properly and revise my Advanced Theory Test..
there's a lot of things to be done after my project..
i've to help my brother out to do a website for some family business..
shits! need to reminsce all those javascript and html codes..
but do you know that with the presence of Macromedia Dreamweaver, it helps you quite a lot...
who the hell would code everything in the notepad..
it's just frustrating to see some errors when you're just missing an angle bracket..
maybe he/she wants to learn it the hard way? i don't know...?

i don't know my brother have those phobias reaction i told him that our elder sister have to undergo an operation..
the most 'kecut' yet 'acting-smart' brother..
not a helpful one here..

2008-07-25T20:04:00.002+08:00

i guess it was just a naive side of me for believing throughout my whole life..
frankly, wasn't that disappointed..
in fact it was funny since it was in the past..
i truly believe in it but it was a lie after all..
I've yet to experience the sweetness and bitterness of it so it's understandable..

got home late yesterday due to project..
stay back in school till 8 plus which was almost 9pm to solve codings problems..
it was funny the whole time laughing here and there over some retarded acts by those guys...
was still raining when i got back home and a good weather to laze on the bed..
it was tiring spending the whole time facing my laptop and focusing too much..
you'll be seeing me wearing a pair of glasses soon..

purposely went to school a bit later today...
since most of the time I'm the early bird...
coincidentally, met my primary school friend on the MRT platform...
we board the train and walked to school together..
it felt so nice talking comfortably with an old close friend..
you can chat almost about everything...
she's still as blunt and funny now just like during the old times...
and we met someone familiar! JENG JENG JENG!!
it was our old primary schoolmate...
bringing back all memories from primary school...

2008-07-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

i'm really busy to blog nowadays...
busy with semester project and assignments that's going to due soon..
i've been sitting for 4 hours in front of my laptop to do my codings without even moving from my chair...
now, my back hurts like no one's business..
and the codes still doesn't work due to the SQL statement..
GAH!! so frustrating..

although i've free time to rest, the time is use wisely to replenish my energy...
i've been told that i'm having a bad back problem and gastric..
i've to do something given my health is really bad..
scary..
EAT MY MEAL ON TIME AND DO SOME STRETCHING WHEN I SIT TOO LONG..
no wonder i've not been feeling well for the past weeks..
shit happens..

i really need to hit the track soon and do some sports...

2008-07-18T08:11:00.002+08:00

in my point of view, karma do exist...

you made me feel like that and you'll receive it back one day...

i still remember how it feels..

you think i'm leading a lifeless life...

in fact, i'm having a good independent life with my friends and family around me..

but hey, look who's talking...

you'll receive back what you give..

needless to say, there isn't a need to take revenge...

when the times come, all i can say is SORRY

Random comments:

where's your moral values that you parents taught you..

aren't you ashamed of what you did?

you even let the WHOLE WORLD KNOW WHAT YOU DID...

i'm so surprise...

you're even proud of what you did....

wow! i guess you're just way too unbelievable...

2008-07-16T19:10:00.002+08:00

i still need to hold on there...
tests keep coming on the way almost every week...
from Monday to this morning, i kept revising my C++ programming..
it's obvious how desperate i want to pass this test..
i want a B for this test at least..
but what IF i got a C?
well, i will still accept it and tell myself to work harder...

had a briefing on our Semester 2 CE(Complementary Elective) and Elective module..
wondering what to choose...
i still have time to consider about it..

i still have Database Management test tmrw..
Data Structure(Java) test on the following Tuesday...
project implementation and codings to work on for 2 more weeks...

it's really draining my brain cells...

2008-07-13T13:51:00.002+08:00

took this personality test...
see below for the result...

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
(True..i don't like conflict)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.
(Perfectly correct)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
(Yes!)

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
(Knowledge is as important as my future and family)

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
(try hard to be accepted? i rather not to be accepted...ain't beggar)

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
(Unpredictable? seems true about that part)

2008-07-10T08:43:00.002+08:00

i just need to pick up the pace slowly..
feeling demoralise..
how terrible can i feel?..
i believe you rise after you fall..

i hope you can give me the strength that i need..
knowing how i really feel at this moment..
a helping hand to reach out to..
i know you are always there..

2008-07-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

to start the day with,it was totally bad..
some bird unknowingly shit anywhere they want and landed on my hair..
i was drinking my milk and the 'bomb' landed on my hair..
let's just assume that i was 'lucky'..

i can't believe someone thought i did my work just for the sake of completing it..
without me even thinking properly the solution to that question..
I'm really mad..
i even set aside my time to do it carefully and it took me half an hour to think and solve it..
i put effort in it yet you said straight to my face that i did it like some guessing game..
WTF!you think your answer is perfect enough?!
at the end of the day, you submit my "shabby" work ...
speaking mindlessly without considering the other party's effort and hard work..

i don't know i can feel demoralise by a 10 year old kid..
the way she said it, makes me want to cry immediately..
a flaw of mine..
incident by incident is just like adding fuel to the fire..
but i'm too tired right now..

to sum up the week, it's been a smooth one except for Friday..

2008-06-28T13:08:00.002+08:00

sisters..

having 3 sisters is a blessing...

i respect my 2 eldest sister a lot...

they've contribute alot to our family..

my twin sister? not that much respect since we're the same age...

we always fight and make up...

fight over which school shoes is ours although it's the same pair of shoes..

that's how siblings are..

2008-06-27T17:51:00.004+08:00

TGIF..
time for the mind to relax....
quite bored right now..
so i pick some questions for myself to answer..

#1 If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
ignore him and let him feel terrible and guilty on what he did..
wait till he's sincerely sorry about it and we'll see how it goes..

#2 What will your dream wedding be like?
A garden wedding with all my close friends attending it?
with white and pink roses? haha...too far fetch

#3 What’s your ideal lover like?
As time passes, it kept changing...
the most important thing is, he can handle my temper well and respect the elders..

#4 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone...i guess
love will grow unknowingly when someone cares for you..

#5 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Not sure...As long as i can? But i don't want to become an old maid..
It can be frustrating and tiring..it's all about perseverance

#6 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Drop the idea of having him and forget about him...it could be dangerous if i keep holding onto it..

#7 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Yes, having to accomadate with fussy tutor...

#8 How do you see yourself in ten years time?
Working and having a family not forgetting my parents(i've always want to repay them)...

#9 If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
I hope it will not happen...but i'll give it to the one who deserves it more than the other guy

#10 Do you have someone you love right now?
Only i know the answer...

2008-06-25T22:30:00.002+08:00

gahh! feeling so pressure...

i have to work hard for this term cos' my grades are bad..

this term is short and to start with, i screw up my C++ quiz...

there's lots of tests coming up and assignments to complete within this few weeks..

there's isn't any day i'm free from school work..

tutorials and incoming submission for project and assignments for the following week will be pushed into my weekends..

2008-06-24T19:06:00.002+08:00

i just can't describe the feeling now...
i screwed up my C++ quiz..
i keep giving a sigh and the feeling of disappointment(-_-)..
although i pass my C++ practical, it's nothing to be proud of since it's just borderline..
i'll just count myself lucky cos' i didn't study..
facing with many obstacles on school matter..
be it the tutor or the module...

2008-06-22T22:13:00.002+08:00

bit by bit...
i've discovered something..
this world is never too narrow for us to discover the different possibilities...
let it be good but not the bad...
you make me wonder all the time...

2008-06-19T12:31:00.002+08:00

was blog hopping..

came across a blog that is full is "singlish"...

I'm not sure how you guys find when you read something that is full of "singlish" in each and every line of sentence..

personally, it really irritates me when i read it..

i can tolerate it to a certain extent..

it's just my point of view and others may think otherwise...

opinions differ..

it's really irksome to see someone using his/her friends for their own selfish needs..

why?

cos' i've encounter this for umpteen times...

screw you people who always use your friends like some slave..

2008-06-18T14:39:00.002+08:00

watching people growing up in their hometown, makes me envy them even more..
growing up healthily and play all they want with their friends..
i love that kind of life compared to living in the city..
i want to experience that kind of feeling..
it's fun and relaxing..
i asked my mum whether she love living like that and she replied with a big YES..
when you're feeling sad, you can take a walk by the sea..
when you're feeling happy, you can play with your friends or go fishing together..
when you're feeling bored, you can take a walk and smell the fresh air of your hometown..
isn't that great?
with lesser stress and pressure...
that's how you live your life...

2008-06-17T00:29:00.002+08:00

I had my lunch yesterday and watched TV at the same time…
This show call “Screening Humanity” was on…
It shows how a real person living from day to day basis and facing current difficulties/hardship…

This time, it’s about a girl which is 19 years old whose dad died 3 years ago due to cancer…
And now, it’s her mother diagnose with lung cancer who is only 56 years old…
This girl tried hard to be strong and pretend to know everything although she doesn’t…
The next day, the doctor told her to be prepared for the worse and call all the family members…

Suddenly she felt the sky is crashing down her life…
Her mother promised she’ll go to her school once she enters college…
Furthermore, her birthday is only one month away and she only hopes her mother could live longer…

I wish I didn’t cry but I did…
Tears start to flow unknowingly…
But hey! This should be a lesson for us, children to our parents…
We always take advantage of our parents and what we have now…
We, humans do make mistakes but it’s better to make it up rather than play ignorant…

2008-06-16T00:17:00.002+08:00

2 weeks worth of term break is coming to an end soon...
it's nothing..
this term break is meant for revisions and studying..
once the school resume, we'll be expecting lots of tests and assignments , project submission..
this is where my mind will go haywire..
but i determine to pass all my modules although i feel it's hard to do so..
i'll try even if it's hard..
when it's hard, you have to try..
i hate the word "giving up"..
what more hearing it...
nothing is easy..

2008-06-13T12:20:00.002+08:00

frankly, there's nothing much to update..
will be heading to bestie's house tmrw to cook some meal over at her house..
i don't know what to cook..
i'll look up later and think of something...

today's friday and it's been almost one week since term break..
one week down and another to go...
i've been spending my holidays on revison for networking and it's practical...
i've got a bit more clearer view and the hang of it..

i can't wait for semester 1 to end quickly...
frankly, it's tough being a Year 2 student given that i've a demanding tutor for now..
high expectations from all of us..
she's a perfectionist, that's all i can say..

2008-06-08T21:22:00.002+08:00

what have i been up to this few days?
went for a jog last friday and today with my twin sis to release my stress..
i've been holding on to it for quite a long time..
it feels good and my leg muscles feel so strain right now..
followed my parents to a wedding today..
guess what? saw my old time friend there, Shaheila..
it's been years since i saw her..

2008-06-06T15:15:00.002+08:00

it feels so good after i've handed up all the assignments that's due today...
all this while, it feels like a big burden..
reached home at 10pm yesterday...
after i took a shower i rushed to do my programming and tutorials..
which ended up, i slept at 1am..
i can't even open my eyes properly when i woke up at 7.30 am just now..
went to school and slept during IPTNET lecture..
i swear i can't hold my eyes anymore and fell asleep along with my 2 girls(Weina and Audrey)
now it's time to declare term-break!! HAHA!!

want to know what's my plan for the 2 weeks break?
-do back all my networking practical using Packet Tracer..
-do my Object Oriented Analysis Diagram Project(sequence diagram and use-case desc.)
-revise my C++ and do back all practical
-tuition
-do an enquiry on my class plan

2008-06-05T10:12:00.002+08:00

this week was a bit disappointing...

i failed my FTT on first attempt..

needless to say about the C++ practical test that i sat for yesterday...

i spent the whole practical test working on the first question and the output is totally different...

i really hope i can pass although i've no faith...

i've could done better but i didn't..

working on my networking assignments the whole night..

below is the outcome..

but the router have yet to be connected to the switch successfully..

what frustrate me even more, is that i've lots of assignments to hand in by this week...

don't think a polytechnic students is a slacker..

we do receive pressure from tutors for us to do well too..

2008-06-01T10:58:00.002+08:00

tada!!
that's a pic to make you,readers smile...

it's a boring Sunday for me...
I've to study and stay at home all the way..
my parents went to KL yesterday to visit my sick uncle..
they'll be back tonight..
my sick uncle called my house yesterday..
it's a relieved to hear his voice since it's been ages i saw him..
when i was small, he'll treat me like his daughter whenever i came over to his house in KL..
i feel so bad for not following my parents to visit him..
i hope he'll get well soon..

when a person whom I'm close with , don't trust me..
disappointment is all i have..
you can forget that we were once close..
but we're strangers for now..
don't hate me for that...
cos' you bring it upon yourself..
there's nothing much left to say..

2008-05-30T18:09:00.002+08:00

there's one more week to go before mid-term break...
i know i can do it..
although I'm really exhausted..

my actions proven that i really need my break badly..
the effect of stress are making me tired..
negative ideas kept going through my mind for the past week...
i was even scared that it might come true..
not even a proper meal since i lose my appetite to eat..
i became more cautious about everything..
even my surroundings..

one morning, i decided to gather all my energy and be optimistic..
and now here i am blogging..
i learnt that our mind can really overpower our body..
ever heard of 'mind over body'?
I'm not making up any story here,it's up to you to believe it...
this is what really happened to me last week..

TIPS:
-do always be optimistic to avoid negative thinking's
-keep calm when you encounter difficulties ..

2008-05-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

maybe i should update a bit...
i've thought of abandoning this blog and not updating it since i'm WAY TOO BUSY..

there's no need for me to give tuition this week...
that's a good news...
the bad news is that i have C++ practical test and assignments (*take note of the S) submission next week..
not to forget, my FTT this coming Monday...
i really hope i can pass and start my practical soon..
everything is so close together and i've to rush...

i was just about to go out and slack during the weekends...
as you know it's the GSS(Great Singapore Sales) season now...
but somehow, I'm sacrificing my weekends to complete all my assignments and study for tests..
that's really sad isn't it?
but I'm sure I'll not regret for doing so...
i still have the mid-term break to go out..
lose some, gain some..

2008-05-27T08:38:00.002+08:00

i'm not sure what's wrong with me..
things are getting worse...
i'll just take that i'm too stress up with school that it's driving me crazy...
losing sleep in the night...
3 assignments need to be completed by this week excluding project submission...
practical test coming up tmrw...
i hope i can do well...
i seem to lose all my concentration..
i have to double up my effort..

going far..

2008-05-23T16:15:00.002+08:00

ok people...
i'm ready to shop since the Great Singapore Sale will be on from 23rd May...
anyway, i've been staying at home studying for tests and doing projects...
it's time to unveil my stress..

there's an Adidas Sale from 23-25 May...
here's the link for a bigger picture of the Ad: Adidas Sale

recently, i've been suffering quietly...
my paranoia became stronger and it became a serious problem...
i always kept a lookout every now and then..
i would not say what fear i had..
it has subsidies after reading some sources on how to overcome it..
yes, almost a psychiatric problem that i needed a psychiatrist..

2008-05-21T17:59:00.002+08:00

i feel glad that i could talk to someone about the fear that i'm having for now..
it's really scary thinking about it and my head hurts ..
i try to put that at the end of my mind and don't want to think much about it..
i have to be optimistic in order to live..
be grateful of breathing the fresh air everyday and seeing your love ones...
maybe i'm too stressed up that those thoughts came up...
thanks to my paranoia..

2008-05-20T19:27:00.001+08:00

normal routine of tuesdays..

2008-05-19T17:58:00.002+08:00

i'm touched when i saw the video below..
a blind kid who determine to be a pianist...
that really shows how passionate she is although she's blind ...

i should be ashamed of myself...
randomly,complaining how hard this life is...
given that i'm not a handicap...
i should be thankful about everything i have..

everybody has their own shortcomings...
we have to accept it with open arms and learn how to overcome it..
we knew how hard it can be but it's worth the effort...
at the end of the day, you'll gain a valuable lesson in life...

2008-05-17T20:59:00.002+08:00

putting my effort and sweat into something...
spending hours on it...
when the outcome turned out to be awful, it's really disappointing...
what more when someone don't really appreciate your hardwork..
my heart really sank deep...
tears flooded my eyes but i held back,making sure it won't roll down my cheeks...
somehow, i accept the failure...

2008-05-16T08:41:00.002+08:00

slept at 2 am yesterday and woke up at 7am today...
now my body feeling very weak with 5 hours of sleep..
was doing my project tasks as today is the submission...
i've been re-doing it for the third time cos' my tutor don't like my work..
spent hours on that and she said re-do..
seriously unhappy about it la!
i've put effort on it and now back to square one..
i don't know why my tutor have to make my life miserable..
i want to curse her but somehow she have her own reasons for doing so..
she wants the best for us..
my stress level is about to reach it's peak..
there's recent breakdown that i threw things at my sister and shouting and crying simultaneously..
i went crazy...
from what i knew, never in my life i acted barbarically...
school life sux for now...

apart from that, i felt that some people are annoying...
it's time to reflect on your doings...
all this while, you think what you're doing is right..
not all people have the same mindset as you are..
for once, i want to make you feel guilty..
all this while,i hate myself for everything i did for you..
it's time for you to GET A LIFE!

2008-05-14T14:56:00.003+08:00

UPDATE!!

i swear those CHINA ladies i saw inside the train are damn disgusting...
how can she wear something presentable and look sloppy with it..
worse thing ever, she dug her nose in front of me!
totally gross ok!
apart from that, she was posing in different style at the train's pole and showing to her friends with her body fats popping out from nowhere..
no etiquette at all..
making some fashion show huh?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2008-05-14T00:12:00.002+08:00

school has been rather more stressful and i'm getting more cranky nowadays...
doing tutorials is already a norm for me everyday...
but somehow i feel like every week i'll get the same amount of school work or worse, more than the previous week..
after doing tutorials, do project tasks then study for tests...
additional assignments from different modules...
somehow, i'll get trap in a question when doing tutorials that it dampens my spirit to leave that question out...
i hate to see a blank to a question...

it's already 12:18am...
i'm seriously tired and my bed is calling me now...

i really don't know what is going on...
truthfully, i'm not expecting any returns...
you come to me whenever you have problems or some random stuff...
what about me?
do you even want to listen to my rants and whines?
before i could have my say, you're gone just like that...
not even a msg or a call...
what is this?
am i just a puppet to you who always giving in to your wants and needs?
do you consider yourself one of 'them'?
it's time to reflect...
those time spent together are meaningless..
as much as it is to you, the more it is to me..
i'm seriously upset with 'you' cos' i've come to an end of my limit...

2008-05-11T15:23:00.002+08:00

sometimes a word can be as sharp as a knife...
unknowingly it pierce through you and you'll lose control...
i lost control of myself and found myself shaking over it...
it's no more of a joking matter to me..
i can't take it...
it may sounds like a joke to somebody but not to me..
please be sensitive to people's feeling...
you're not the only one who have feelings, so does everyone..
there's a limit to everything..
hearing and experiencing are two different meanings...
don't laugh cos' it sounds ridiculous to you...
it may happen one day to you...
you never know...

2008-05-09T19:32:00.004+08:00

ended school early and played tennis with my classmates...
my whole body going to break soon,it has been a long time since i exercised..
ran 3 rounds around the court..
did some silly stuff...
so funny but fun!
pics will be up soon...

anyway, it's been quite hectic this whole week..
with tests,presentation and tutoring...
now, I'm relaxing before i resume doing my school work...
there are lots of school work piling up waiting to be done..
there's 2 tests on Database and OO Design respectively next week..

mother's day is coming..
sometimes we take advantage of our mum with their presence ...
but we miss them when they're gone..
that's how human are..

a mum knows her children well...
a mum knows the pain of their children...
somehow, they could be the fiercest and also the nicest...
i thank her for bringing me on this earth...
i thank her for giving me enough love...
i thank her for educating me well and taught me to be a better person..
i thank her for not comparing me with other children although she knew i was the weakest among all..
in conclusion, i thank her for everything..
a special love that i receive from then till now..

2008-05-07T18:15:00.002+08:00

my life has been busy throughout this week...
Monday and Tuesday were the most tiring...
i even fell asleep during lectures...
i need my beauty sleep very badly...
you lose some, you gain some...

we're going to play tennis on Friday..
isn't it cool?

i have tonnes of school work need to be completed..
tata~
-minie -

2008-05-04T10:51:00.002+08:00

look at the picture above...
how beautiful the scenery is...
you can feel the coolness of the nature..
now we're experiencing climate change due to global warming..
the hotness of the sun is indescribable..
but we still manage to be alive thankfully..
so don't complain..
just pray hard that it'll rain soon..

i don't know if i can make it for my 3 tests..
oh god,help me..
feeling helpless right now..
lots of stuff in my mind right now..
all my students are about to sit for their mid year exams..
i fear for them too..
what more, i still think about my school work..

may the good things happen...
and the sacrifices i went through are worth something..

2008-05-02T22:09:00.002+08:00

AFTER SCHOOL
today is really hectic..
all by myself..
school ended early around 12 plus..
since there's still time, i went to Lot 1 and ate lunch by myself until 2 plus in the afternoon..
Food Culture was like totally pack with secondary school students..
those freshies from Regenites are damn irritating..
i can't have a peaceful meal..
i shared this one pathetic table with an auntie..
like who cares anyway...

AFTER TUTORING
headed back home before going to BBDC for BTT..
i was in a rush cos' i seriously thought i'm going to be late..
reached in time and they've started to assign the seat..
i PASSED the test..
thanks to that handsome kind soul who help me to print my slip rather than that useless uncle..
my FTT will be on 2nd June..
i determine to finish it by end of this year..

it's time to get back to school..
i have 3 tests on one freaking day and a presentation 2 days after..
that spells SHIT!
or maybe give me some sympathy..
just hope i won't fall sick during these days..
need to do my tutorials now..

2008-04-30T08:54:00.002+08:00

just like those...

school has been tiring...
i spent like hours editing and amending my project report these few days..
i only manage to do half of my elective module tutorial ...
it SUX big time with C++ programming...
it's tough and sort of the same like JAVA...
somehow, my classmates including me spent like 2 hours to complete 2 task during practical yesterday..
working out the logic and applying it in different manner of programming from JAVA..
i wish i could feel regret now but how come i don't?
although i still can't get the hang of it...
weird isn't it..
i will only complain how a killer it is..
it could be quite frustrating when you can't solve those coding..
i got this feeling of accomplishment once i solve it by myself and getting the exact output...
you can include cursing during that process of solving..

tmrw's labour day..
but damn! i have to study for my 3 upcoming tests...
3 test on 1 day...
that's totally madness!!!
need to prepare for presentation too..
apart from that, i have to retake my BTT this coming Friday..

can't update much here..
have to go to school..
the next entry will be talking about my chat with a friend who's in Russia to study..

2008-04-28T00:09:00.002+08:00

when it's not funny,i laugh..
why?
to make the mood merrier...

when the joke went too far, i acted like i'm okay..
why?
cos' i don't wish to spoil the atmosphere although you may have offended me in many ways..

i don't agree with certain things but yet i did..
why?
i don't want to disappoint those people around me..

although i don't like to study, i still did..
why?
i have to for the sake of my future and parents..

when i feel unhappy about my life, I'll just keep quiet..
why?
i can't blame anyone about it,it's already fated..

there are many things i don't want to do..
but i still did..
it may be against my wishes but somehow it'll affect my future if i were to do otherwise..
when the majority doesn't go along with your opinion, it's nothing until you prove it..

2008-04-27T16:59:00.002+08:00

How can one smile such sweet smiles,
When one is so saddened by sorrows for miles,
How can I smile the same smiles,
When life brings me nothing but tears.

I guess life is just like that,
We need not a reason to smile,
For a smile is the reason itself,
To rejoice and open-heartedly give thanks.

-------------------------------------------------
it kept me thinking all the way..
am i right to act like that?
i admit defeat in the end..

2008-04-26T19:53:00.002+08:00

what a Saturday morning..
not bad after all...
went to Religious class with my parents and had breakfast with my cousins...
i love those kids...
came back home and headed to Bugis to buy my bag...
that's all...

came back and did some potato salad..
those(below) are the ingredients added in potato salad..
my family loves it...

let me share some funny things i read from my project proposal...
it made me laugh..
"they forgot the hang any sign at the door handle "
"guests are also feeling frustrated when they return to the hotel from outside"
"but if guest absurd the button they will be fine. "
quote from MR COOLEST...